Grandmothers at Christmas

Had an interesting realization today as I was puttering about the kitchen making cookie dough -- while Halloween is about ancestors generally and those who have crossed over, Christmas is about my grandmothers in amongst the other shuffle of topics. And not so much veneration as honoring those very personal relationships and history. Like they'd both be sort of meh about the whole Halloween thing, but they almost can't resist looking in from wherever they're at because *Christmas*, y'know?

Considerations

I can't believe the calendar year is almost over.  It was approximately this time last year when J pinged me and said, 'hey, CAYA is doing an online thing, and based on some of our recent discussions, you might enjoy that.'  2013 Fall/early Winter was dreadful and I desperately needed something positive so on that like mayo on a polyester suit.  It has been such an incredible blessing all year long.  I have enjoyed it tremendously.

Yeshe Rabbit has asked us to consider some things, it may be early yet, but I wanted to start putting some thought into the questions she's asked back in October:

• Dedication ceremony (how might we do this thing together, online, probably late Jan/early Feb, which makes sense),
• What dedication means to us, what do we do now, where do we want to see this go
• Would we consider joining in facilitating next year's aspirants as well.

The easy one is the last one, I'd be happy to join in facilitating next year's aspirants.

The second bullet is obviously actually two things to consider.

• What does dedication mean to me?
  Dedication means not only that I've passed the first round of understanding how this group operates but that I agree to continue to abide by this approach.  It further means, I hope, that further and deeper exploration of approach opens as a possibility.  So many things with so much potential to explore [with room here to expand further on the concept of what it means to be dedicated into this tradition].  Which leads to...
• What do we do from here/where do we want to see this go?
  This is sort of tricky -- I guess something I'd like to know is, what happens next for the corporeally gathering dedicants after dedication?  What framework/s do/could next year look like?  I will need to consider & ponder & ask some questions.  I know I want to do more Explore All The Things!  MOAR PLZ, KTHANKS, but I'm not sure I have clarity beyond that...

Which leaves the actual dedication ceremony, the first is last, oroborous eating its tail... We may be starting this discussion, having taken the second part of the second question to the google hangout group...  Will continue later...

------------

From a Conversation with P

Increasingly my understanding of magic is that it's the clarifying and articulation of intention. If that intention moves forwards and backwards in time, if it changes vibration of the currents of the universe, who knows... The critical act is in the act itself of clarifying and articulating the intention.  

There are a lot of ways one can do that, some resonate with one more than others, but it's always extremely personal. The variety in approach is fascinating. There is and always will be more to learn...

Ultimately, if you don't follow through with elbow grease and appropriate work, shit doesn't happen though. The clarification and articulation make the path forward more obvious -- part of planning out the crafting of a magical act is understanding what concrete actions happen afterward to bring the intention to fruition.

The Ancestors

Ancestor stuff is complicated, especially when one starts taking into account shadow sides, and recognizing them as whole, complex people.

On Death Rituals

We tend not to be an overly sentimental family.  We've waited months to bury cremated relatives, they aren't going anywhere, and we've had other things to attend to. Maybe sentimental isn't the right word.  There is a time and a place for all things, and while Death itself may be inconveniently timed, ritual around it unfolds as it needs to.

In the cases where we've waited, technology has made it possible for us to take care of the life stuff that continues until such time as we could make and hold appropriate space to recognize the passing.  It is more respectful, in some ways, than a rush to get the shell in the ground that sometimes happens.

Sometimes the ritual emphasizes the event of a life lived with a peaceful closure, often this is the case with those who have lived a full, long life.  Often for those who are cut short, while consciously attempting to emphasize the event of the life lived and peaceful closure, the unconscious impact is that of deepening the shock of life lost too soon. There is no way around this, and it can be handled better or worse, the processes will unfold as they do.

As part of this Graveyard Moon, M2 & I went and wandered about a cemetery. In order to get there, I drove past the one where my paternal grandparents are buried.  It was a moment of conflict for me, why?  My initial, impulse thought was, "They are not there."  Wait -- what?  What I gain from going and walking among the stones and the dead is more to re-ground, re-center.  Wandering out there, I can feel the hinkiness of the day-to-day miasma and cluttery energy drain out my heels.  The perspective that we are on this unlikely tiny blue planet for a blip in time and when it's done, only memories are carried by those you impact.

Ancestors

So we carry the memories of those who have impacted us forward. That which is remembered, lives.  I think it will take me some time to figure out how The Ancestors fit into my practice.  They are not where I turn for advice, or divination, or posthumous blessings, and yet it seems appropriate to remember the gifts they provided, through traits, experiences, etc, with gratitude and appreciation, while recognizing and acknowledging their potential shadow sides as well.

'... we therefore commit the body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust...'

Lolwhut

I got a small statue of Athena because she is totally my work bff. In the process of clearing off the shelf she needed to go on because she's a little taller than where I was going to put her, I put stuff on another shelf, looked at it and went, oh, ah, hi, what are You doing here? 

"Just hanging out. 'Sup?"
Not much really, I guess. And by what are you doing here, I mean reason? Thing I need to learn, etc? 
"Nah, not right now. Just, it was comfy, no big deal." 
So, uh, what's your name? 
"Srsly?"
Well, mmmm, it was nice to make your acquaintance again, Dionysus, and I guess, yeah, happy hanging out, lemme know if you need anything and I'm going to go back out into the living room now... Weirdo. 
"Lol."

...

Some days, being a Witch is strange. Like this, my iPad and iPhone have arbitrarily decided that Witch gets capitalized. Two days ago, not the case, now? Apparently it's a thing.

Witching Hour of the Graveyard Moon

And now it's The Witching Hour, my pretties!

Dammit, why is there no cackling Witch riding off into the night on a broom! Or at least a hair pin emoticon like the hilarious Witch Hazel on Bugs Bunny! I love Witch Hazel...

 

A key, it's a gift to us all from Hekate! May it unlock the secrets we need to hear tonight, and may she light our way through the darkness we encounter in the world with her torch! May she and her blessed dead and our blessed dead and her big black dog guard us and protect us. 

Burn, baby, burn, disco inferno! 🔥

Moon in my backyard!

All The Incense!

Happy Full Moon, my witchy friends!

Storms

Tonight is the first big Storm of the season. I love them for being big and furious and windy and rainy, but sometimes that love is in retrospect as in the moment I'm hearing what's landing on my roof and realizing that we are surrounded by trees many many times the height of our house.  It is occasionally of small comfort that the house and trees have lived together for the last 50ish years without incident, but having had a tree miss a house I was living in when I was young, but taking out the deck not five feet away left an impression! Though being me, I slept through the event...

Sipping a glass of whiskey and seltzer on the rocks, thinking it's probably time to do my refresher reading before we meet tomorrow. I have a tendency to read through things and by the time we're supposed to discuss, I've read so many other things in the meantime, I can't remember if the thing that comes to mind to discuss is from the reading our something else any more.

The other night I actually got out my incenses and burned a bunch of it. There's something about sitting and watching the incense smoke drift and curl and flicker in candle light. Easy to trance out on. Sometimes in those moments it becomes clear what is the work that must be done. In addition to some thank you offerings, I took care of some other stuff too. Am thinking what I did might be useful to repeat a few more times as well, though it's more involved than what I usually do.

The rain is coming down so hard it's steamy in here. Perhaps because the heat's on downstairs. And they're calling to me from down there, so perhaps I will take temporary leave from the immediacy of this storm and rejoin it later. Reading can wait, sort of like the henna I was going to do tonight... But mud and no power can be a problem and the lights have been flickering too.

Indra's (Ether)Net

I'm on the internet. I think folks are still figuring out what that means, me included. I have a calling to manage information and support the communities that form around information, and digitized info in particular. Sometimes I really wish I didn't but I'm here and not a physical therapist, I guess! I love the way the internet transcends geography. I just got pinged via the hangout by another distance aspirant who's up early (lol, and I'm up late!) talking about how amazing the moon is tonight and wishing everyone blissful awe. 

The ether, the internet, is new space and it's changing and getting better (and worse) ridiculously quickly as we explore its limits against our own. Perhaps someday there will be a priest/ess of Indra's (Ether) Net, and... Ok, I have Just Been Informed that I must tell you this is totally half baked  in order to actually share. So. This is totally half baked, and I have a lot of research to follow up on and deeply consider before proposing anything of the sort in a for reals sort of way, so totally hypothetically consider pretty much all of this. Also huge whoa, I see Indra's Net also tied to weaving, much like Athena, and not only have she and I been chatting about strategy and wisdom re work and "civilization" but weaving cards were some of the founding technology used in computers and thus she is connected via weaving to computer-related things and the resulting online communities as well. Again before iPad totally glitches out, covering my bases, totally half baked idea and I don't even really know quite what that means yet, but in the moment it is sort of an intense serendipitous connection to have found. 

So... That happened.

Elements of Style

j/k. If you're looking for Strunk and White, this is not that. At all.

The last class was about The Elements.  I love working with the elements.  We got our rain chains hung in time for the first good rainy day of the fall.  I love listening to the rain on the roof -- I miss it all summer.

I have been burning hot at work.  So much going on.  Today is 'development day' -- I will eventually settle into some work focused skills.  Or not as it turns out.

I need to find my ground again, time has been running away with me!

Refocus and direct my air qualities too.

All the directions and all the elements need balance.  Yes.  Yes, they do.

Such a haphazard post today.  As has life been lately...

Things I Can't Put Elsewhere

Recruitment coffee date to a place of employment other than my own presently, via a friend that works there -- she gave them my personal gmail rather than my professionalname@gmail account.  Very weird to be getting and managing a potential recruitment via the personal account!

Will be interesting to talk with them. I fit in a position that's half of one they have open, and half of a different one they have open.  My skills are super solid in the areas where I fit, but they'd still need folks to cover the other areas.  We'll see.  It's just coffee to gather more info about what exactly it is they're looking for to start with...

Pocket Full of Posie...

Work friend couldn't go out on our scheduled walk today.  She twisted her knee funny coming down the stairs to see me.  So I went out on the scheduled walk by my lonesome.  There's an old feral herb garden along the path.  I decided that since she couldn't go out for a walk in the nice day, a tiny bit of the nice day needed to come into her.  Her little sweet daughter is away at camp right now & she misses her terribly.  Work has been... uninspiring, to say the least... lately for both of us.

So I made her a little posie bouquet with chamomile for calming, mint & rosemary for invigoration to get through the day, and a wild rose to remember that there are beautiful things just outside when we leave work behind for the day.

Ephemeral Darkness

The other evening at dusk, P & I took a walk.  As we walked, we talked about being out in the woods.  I miss having woods that were relatively safe at night (at least with other people, I never venture out alone night or day into the woods, outside of one place and that place may as well be Avalon now for all its accessibility to me).  It was almost a  perfect half moon.

I used to have a group of friends in college, we'd walk through the woods to the beach on full moons... and occasionally new moons.  In retrospect, I'd say it might have been a mile as the crow flies?  Longer as the trails wend.  Full moons were easy -- the path/s so bright and easy to find, with a few densely wooded areas within the woods that were trickier.  New moon was easy -- if you knew what you were doing and how to walk in the dark night.  For me it's easy.  Look up to see where the trees part to help clarify the path.  Feel with my feet, the edges of a wooded path turn up slightly at the edges.  Stay in the middle, and you stay out of the bushes.  Edges of puddles start getting squishy a little further out than one might notice when just eyes are providing the information.

Walking down the last part to the beach was the tricky part for folks not accustomed to walking in the dark.  It was a downhill stretch with a hair pin or two, with roots jutting out from all the trees around.  As I felt the roots, with small, low, careful steps, I'd call them out.  There were a few stumbles, but no one ever fell.  And then we were there, on the beach.  The beach doing its beach thing.  In the dark.

Only once I walked folks out to the organic farm instead of the beach, maybe a mile, the path was fairly direct -- I didn't go out there via the woods very often, and had only been out there a couple of times generally.  I figured the same principles applied as when I walked to the beach though, and stepping carefully, watching the "path" in the trees, and feeling the edges of the path with my feet.  We easily made it out there & back.  As always.

I never really understood why it was a big deal to be able to walk in the dark, it seemed like such common sense to me.  Eventually I came to understand that what made sense to me was because I had learned it -- where I could walk alone safely in the woods.  I would walk way out by myself at night, stepping up against the bushes, rarely seen by those with the flashlights and the lanterns, except occasionally on full moon nights when my pale skin glowed too bright and I didn't cover enough.  This no doubt is a strong influence on my inclination to wear dark colors as well, generally. In the dark, I can always pull up my sleeve, bare my belly, or look up from under my hood -- if I need to be seen.

Even on bright nights, there were people who never ventured out without their flashlights/lanterns.  But there were also always the stories of people missing each other or "hiding" along paths, so it's not like folks didn't know it was possible... or maybe they just were better about remembering their flashlights/lanterns/having batteries/kerosene than I ever was.  Once or twice on the college walks, with just one or two people, I pulled them into a spot just far enough off the path that another more boisterous party passed without seeing us.  They were fairly astounded that it had worked.

I always preferred the dark though, the near invisibility it brought me, allowing me to slide from place to place, choosing when to be seen, when to interact and be social, and when to continue on my way unperceived, often lost in my own thoughts, or just preferring to allow the introvert some peace and recovery.  This is how I came to understand The Dark as an old and deeply comforting friend.

More Thoughts on Priest/ess & Witch

OH!  These things so much!

priest/ess 5: priest/ess at large by Yeshe Rabbit
Premonitions of Melissa on the Wild Hunt by Alley Valkyrie

To be honest, I would have put those things in category witch, for myself, but if others perceive these things as priest/ess 'at large' or other priest/ess work, I can certainly roll with that.

Perhaps it is that 'witch' is what I practice, priest/ess is in the how I express that practice.  It's definitely an 'at large' situation, and most people don't recognize it as it's happening.  When The Rainbow Lady was still alive, she approached my husband, me, and a very young M1 in the co-op my husband would soon run and told us we had a very special child and asked to bless her right there in the store.  Of course she could!  The Rainbow Lady, after all!  I suppose that's her acting as priest/ess for us.  Many people talk to me about the things they can't tell their families -- the grocery store cashier who tells me about the dolphin tattoo she wants because of the deep spiritual resonance she feels with them, but her family is super evangelical Christian and she could never do it and she doesn't know why she just shared that with me.  The people who sense the librarian, 'ready reference' source of knowledge who ask me where things are, how to get places, etc.  Librarians joke that it's a librarian thing, but we're all sort of priest/esses of access to knowledge -- people know we either know the answer or can find the answer, and as a service role, that we are near compelled to provide assistance by our nature.

The birds either tell me things, or bring me the intuition I need to interpret things, often via crow, raven, robin, or hummingbird.  The plentiful finches & jays, sparrows & swallows tend not to for whatever reason.  The last thing the crows brought me was impending news that N would not survive.  One flew up close and landed on a nearby perch while I was out in the hammock, looked at me, croaked, nodded, and I knew.  Sometimes the bees share as well, but mostly they bring me calm.

I suppose I should tell P at some point that his bff's father (and P's cousin) stopped by a day or two after he crossed over, in the middle of the night, to see where P ended up living.  I was putting the old lady cat food away, stepped into the dark kitchen and could see him out in the street, smoking a cigarette.  The silhouette was unmistakable, the logger boots, & everything.  Just standing, smoking, looking at the house, I could sense the wry, quiet grin he had when he was content that things were right.  I suppose it could have been someone else, but...  I suppose I haven't told this story because I don't really do 'ghosts', but in the moment, it was so clear.

I have helped a lot of kids learn to respect nettles (and thistles too, but this is the nettle story) -- "THEY HURT ME!" (thwacking away at the nettles with a stick). "You must be gentle with nettles, they are asking you to respect them, they are very good for you! -- look, I can pet them and they don't hurt me!"  "How!?"  "Gently, across the leaf with your finger tips, like you're petting a cat ever so softly!  Try it!"  "Noooo!  O-okay... oh!"  "They'll still demand your respect, but if you recognize them and treat them with respect, you'll get stung much less!"  I'm rarely stung by nettles now, even when I accidentally brush against them.

Many other examples, but these sorts of things are part and parcel of the way I explore and experience existence.  How I interact within the world.  So many things to revisit, restore, reclaim, remember.

Intention v. Motivation

Have been thinking a lot about the two lately, as gyro teacher updates on Orcas draws near, and as yet another year has passed and I have done no classes since last year, and not gone to Florida to get my certification taken care of.

As I was on my way to class yesterday -- to take, not teach, obviously -- it dawned on me that often I have plenty of motivation to do things, but I don't always have a clear intention that guides that motivation.  I know my motivation behind doing the teacher training:  I like learning, and  I like moving at a deep level, and I like sharing learning, and hearing what other folks who are learning and moving deep are learning/experiencing.  I have great motivation!  Curiosity!  But what I am doing, what I want to do, what I am going to do with all that once the motivation has carried me for a while, what my intention is in getting teacher training is... not clear.  I don't have the kind of space I would need in my head to take on teaching classes, much less realistically in my schedule.  So... curiosity is driving, and I guess my intention is simply the exploration and sharing of that curiosity.

I have been thinking of doing a 40 day yoga practice (might go longer, might not), and I've been procrastinating starting it.  Too tired or too many potential interruptions or am/can I mix in gyro & PT (yes, of course I can!) or lazy don't wannas or can't find something I want to do/or plan out a little ahead... Silliness.  But there it is.  In this case, I have intention, but not motivation.  Well, I even have motivation, it's just not yet sufficiently compelling, apparently.

Things will eventually sort themselves out. Or not.

Various Thoughts on Homework Questions

1.) Coven size -- benefits of a large coven is that the likelihood that you'll have enough people to make for a nice sized gathering for any particular even is better.  Also, folks can break into smaller 'affinity' groups for the smaller group experience (men/women, folks interested in specific areas, etc).  In my experience, a certain number of people are required to get and maintain a certain level of community momentum as well.  Drawbacks can be that it's more difficult to get to know everyone (sometimes even find conflicts with some).  With really huge groups, there is the possibility of getting lost in the crowd as well.

2.)  Jaina Bee and I have been friends since we were 16 and I'd been following along with her process here and elsewhere.  For a long time, this aspect of my life had slipped under.  We moved into new space and it's... there's a lot going on here, and I started feeling like it was time to dig out.  I was sort of mucking through a reintroduction, having lots of thoughts and questions, and when Jaina said, "hey, we're going to give distance aspirant a try", it seemed like the perfect thing to give the digging out a sense of focus and process.  Honestly, the distance  piece was a big piece of the draw for me.  Between kids and work, I haven't got a lot of social energy or going out and doing things space, but I'm a night owl and tend to find that when I have space for thinking and through stuff is after most reasonable people are asleep.  Also, initial forays into not nearly as well established attempts similarly made me think perhaps I would like to keep the 'safety net' of interaction online, at least initially.  Now I sort of wish y'all lived a lot nearer, but I like feeling connected to people all over the place too, so it's all good.  :)

3.)  I schedule my time commitments as soon as have confirmation, and often significantly ahead of that if I think something might be coming up.  Two kids with school events and swim team makes this imperative.  I am pretty rigid about keeping scheduled events -- I flex my weekly gyrokinesis class  once or more a month in part because I have teacher training and can (and should more regularly) do it on my own, and in order to fit CAYA in, that's the only way it was going to happen.  In the absence of pretty compelling reason, I will be where I say I'm going to be, if it makes it on to my calendar though.

4.)  Ritual -- Chrystal mentioned as part of ritual a potlatch that we both experienced at different times.  Potlatch in the big house was SUCH a formative experience for me. And listening to Bill and Carla and Karen's stories around the campfire, and the big canoes. I miss them all so much. Jaina and I bonded at sixteen on the Indian canoe trip, the canoe that was taken out by the ancient madrona branch a few years ago. I still sing a mangled version of either a canoeing song or it might be a lullaby that Karen taught us. Such a tremendous honor that Bill was given these dances to share with us all. Such an amazing experience.   I watched on the sidelines from 10-16, then participated in a couple when I was older.  Cedar burning still triggers really strong, good memories for me.  Deep soul food.  And the art of the coastal tribes too.  But ritual.  That was a huge summer ritual, between the dances, the canoes, the salmon baked traditionally staked up around pits of cedar bark.  There was the Sunday ritual of going to church (Lutheran) with my parents where I learned some sense of structured religious ritual, both in complex ritual, as well as how simple and stripped down the ritual could be and still be fairly profoundly meaningful.  Now I have my daily practice, parts done in the morning as soon as I'm coherent enough to remember where I am in the recitation and parts done in the evening as part of my getting ready for bed, cleaning off the day, sending love, best wishes and gratitude out, and checking in/grounding.  I do the Mothers of the New Time at full moon.  I clean and sweep with intent at new, and burn down the remains of candles that are too far gone for their candle holders in a big ceramic plant dish.  Sometimes I plan rituals, sometimes they happen spontaneously.  Sometimes daily acts (cooking, cleaning, etc) are ritual acts, and sometimes they're just getting stuff done...  Ritual is such a state of mind thing -- it sometimes seems anything in the right mind set can be ritual.

Even More About the Ocean

I had the sort of sudden revelation as I stood up to go fix my lunch, that I had said Poseidon was cheeky.  He is.  But along with remembering that I had called an Olympian cheeky (which he is), I realized that I have been conflating Poseidon with Primordial Water itself. Water certainly amplifies my ability to sense Poseidon, but... different things.

So... things to think about, but that happened.

On Priest/ess & Witch

There have been various discussions that have crossed my radar lately on what  it means to be Priest/ess.  I am engaging with a coven as an aspirant, for the first time in a 25-ish year solitary practice and... thinking...  I identify as 'witch'.  It's sort of but not quite really the same.  As others have pointed out, priest/ess is a bit of all sorts of things, from ritualist, to counselor, to spiritual mentor, to minister, etc.

I figure part of engaging as part of a group is that I revisit reading All The Things from many perspectives, find what is resonating with me, what isn't, and while I've been doing that all along, the context of 'aspirant', traveling a specific (even if still significantly self-defined) path, changes things for me somewhat.  Being part of something bigger means I am part of a shared trajectory.

What I am leading to, and puzzling over right now is this -- in so far as witch and priest/ess have significant parallels, and in so far as I identify as witch, but not particularly priest/ess (or even necessarily called to identify that way) -- is it just a semantic difference in pursuing the shared deeper knowledge that I seek, without necessarily taking on the particular word of priest/ess?

John Beckett notes that for the role of clergy there are "three main things priests do: serve the Gods, act as mediators for the Gods, and serve their communities." I have a personal practice. I've sort of joked that I've taken Lutheranism to its extreme in one sense in that I don't require a mediator for my experience of the divine, though as I grow older, the idea of having others who can sometimes drive so I can simply participate as part of the chorus, or not have to have dual consciousness about what I am doing now, what comes next seems like a lovely thing, but that is more of a field trip coordinator than a mediation of the experience? Is that too granular of a distinction to be relevant for most (something I am often guilty of)? I am on the fence about defining what I do as "service" for a "God/dess" -- "belief" and "God/dess" is terribly complicated, and I have practices, but it seems a stretch to call that "service" especially given "belief".

This is getting into that lost territory, so dialing it back in again... both of these are granular and semantic in a way, and so grey and fuzzy in terms of definition for me. The third, to serve the community, seems most concrete to me -- this resonates, this I can do, one way or another or many ways. This is not grey and fuzzy for me, it just requires consensus between me and my community that the service I can/want to provide aligns with what is needed.

In a lot of ways my puzzle about disparity between witch and priest/ess is in parallel with my disparity of feeling about teacher training for gyrokinesis (all but certified) and yoga (eventually I may pursue, but...) -- I want the knowledge, I want the practice, I even want to be able to share my knowledge and sometimes my practice, but... I don't identify as "teacher". I don't want to teach classes... but I want to be deeply immersed and talk and practice with people who are extremely deeply immersed in theory and practice -- often that means my cohort is, for yoga and gyrokinesis, those who teach. And for spirituality, it seems often those people are priest/esses.

Which brings me to another puzzle of the moment -- how far can I follow my trajectory as witch practitioner, wanting to explore and know and experience all the way up to, and possibly well into the territory often marked as priest/ess territory while not taking on clergy, lay or otherwise, aspects.
I may be over thinking this, and I so often find in discussing this with others that my perspective is broadened by exposure to the creativity and both complexity and simplicity of others interpretations that I have so many other options that are open to me.
 
Yeshe Rabbit elucidates further on the roles of priest/ess as she identifies them according to her practice. Many, but not all resonate with my own practices (naturally, as she identifies as priest/ess and I do not and even in the eventuality that perhaps I do, my expression may/will likely find varying outlets because we are different people with different experiences).

Perhaps another question I have coming out of this is concurrently to discussing what clergy and priest/ess are, what are we defining against this as what non-clergy/priest/ess are? Part of defining what one is is also defining what one is not. In terms of functions of roles within an organization, even loosely defined, there is a relational aspect between roles. For paid clergy, money clarifies things somewhat for me, in that clergy is supported by the community for the spiritual services provided, whether directly (paid for services or readings, etc) or indirectly (tithing and the like where the individual services are not charged for but covered by dues, of sorts). Money, for better or worse, sort of formalizes the roles and expectations of the exchange happening.

In contrast, my analog (and maybe a more appropriate parallel) for priest/ess in my life is my professional role as a senior manager. I've managed teams as small as two, and up to four teams at a time, with 20 people reporting directly to me. I'm responsible for projects, production work, team and individual development, mentoring, coordinating in support of my organizations defined and supporting goals and objectives. I have lateral peers that I also collaborate with. I have industry groups that I participate in beyond my own organization. I know what kind of work it takes and the obligation to the various parties involved which leads me to being wary of extending additional sense of obligation as a leader within community/ies... and yet still, the draw to the deeply immersive experience lands me... somewhere, I'm not entirely sure where yet.

Dunno. It's all a long way of saying I see a parallel here with my yoga/gyrokinesis practice where I want to be so deeply immersed that my peer group is called something that I don't entirely identify with but to be not as deeply immersed is counter to my desire for such deep immersion.  But perhaps I see a parallel with my professional role, except with that money clarifies my role and expectation for responsible of that specific community and I don't have that clarity within spiritual practice?  So complicate!

I am deeply respectful of those who pursue the path that identifies as clergy and priest/ess, grateful for their shared knowledge and mentorship, sorting out my own trajectory within relationality of community is different from solitary practice.  As Alice discovered in Through The Looking Glass, and as I have come to understand as a manager, communicating and aligning language is an important piece of community defining.

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master -- that's all.'   

This is largely me just trying to navigate language (and the various granularities that appear as I think through implications), community, and how/where I might fit.  As an aspirant, it may be way too early for me to consider my future with any specific group, but I also know that there are some areas where I will continue to pursue learning until logical conclusion (lol -- learning is forever! There is no end!).

In the end, I suspect I will find a way that both the semantics and actions align for my practice.  I just don't know quite what that means yet.

Apologies to all the other authors and their articles that informed my questions that I don't reference directly here. I don't want to backtrack all through my feeds to find all the articles.

-------
Upon going back and reading the (new to me) comments from Sunsmith and Molly on Yeshe Rabbit's post, I am given additional thought about how broadly and simply (and complexly) we can define language, semantics, and practice.  This is one of the things I love about having a community I am nominally a part of.  It is the collaborative sharing of experience that allows one to break out of the unnecessary boxes one's mind and re/create, re/craft, re/vise the world into a better place.

July 13 Calendar

On Silence

http://theheadlesshashasheen.tumblr.com/post/90883336652/what-do-you-feel-about-the-four-tools-of-a-magician-to

This was really helpful as a point of understanding for me.  It makes ever so much more sense than endless references solely to the burning times, but also for those of us who have a tendency to want to try to process using language, as I do here, and given lost and maybe not lost posts, often fail at.

In particular:

Quite simply, talking about shit ruins the magic. The numinous doesn’t survive contact with language very well. Oftimes trying to articulate events occurring in a magical space, or any experience of Gnosis, or numinous experience into conventional language just renders away so much of the power of the experience. (zerosociety)

and:

Some experiences cannot be pinned down verbally; they must be dealt with internally, muddled over, considered, in the beauty of silence. (theheadlesshashasheen)

There are things that are experiential in nature that cannot be communicated or processed in any other way, which is why doing and experiencing is a critical component of so many things, learning included.  Is the synthesis of knowledge, and all of the senses that creates understanding.

Trying to find the balance between those things that can be articulated as part of processing and synthesizing and those that can't is a challenge.  And while I've let this aspect of my world lie fallow for many years, I feel I have a lot of catch up to do, and yet so much is familiar.  Integrating and deepening understanding and experience, practice, practice, and practice.

Have had some thoughts about systems theory as a direction I need to do some exploration around, as well as other things.  All The Things!  But marathon, not sprint. And as I'm drifting how, time to drift along...

Edited to add, and of course theheadlesshashasheen has additional elucidating insights...

June 29 Calendar

Some Weeks There Are No Words For

It is amazing how remarkably tough and incredibly fragile the human body is.

So many thoughts running through my head, so many words, and yet they all seem inadequate.

Thoughts on:

• The fragility and business of life 
• The sustainability of the world's human population in the cultures we've developed to support our sheer mass
• The wind roaring in the tree tops
• The sound of children laughing
• Love

And so much more.  So many words required to sort out my thoughts, and so sound and fury.

The old lady cat is taking her place in the window to bask in the afternoon sun. 

I think the only thing I can articulate succinctly right now is, srsly, fuck necrotizing fasciitis.   

Maybe Not Lost

But definitely wandering.  And there's something to be said for wandering.

Listening to the rain. I love the rain on the roof. I love being able to hear it in the leaves of the trees.  Eventually, if the first rain chain works, I should be able to hear the rivulets in the rain chains too.

So soothing, makes me sleepy.

June 15th Calendar

Some weeks are just like that.

Lost

Not really, but it's easy for me to get sidetracked away from the 'Saganist' side of my sense of awe of The Universe to the use of mythology to explore and better understand human experience.

I just came across this quote:

“The brain is a sparkling field of rhythmic flashing points with trains of traveling sparks hurrying hither and thither. It is as if the Milky Way is engaging in a cosmic dance. The cortex is an enchanted loom where millions of flashing shuttles weave a dissolving pattern, always a meaningful pattern though never a lasting one; with a shifting harmony of entrancing subpatterns.” --Charles Sherrington

For the last month? Two months?  I've been wandering around the internet late at night looking for, and even sometimes finding, information that resonates with me on Hekate.  More recently that has shifted to Athena as I have come to find that I, for the time being, have come to a sense of comfort with Hekate, and am finding that the qualities presented by Athena are areas in my life where I have need to focus some attention (strategy? civility? patterned technology? independent woman functioning in a strongly masculine sphere of influence?  Oh. Hell. Yes).

I don't actually "believe in" embodied gods/goddesses, but I find their attributes and affinities (codified social "energy"?) useful in identifying situational frameworks that enable (or are disabling and require modification, in some cases) functional behavior patterns.  Sometimes that starts slipping away from me, towards how to placate or ensure favor from something and that is simply not the relationship that I find fruitful or "awesome", in the awe-inspired sense, of my relationship to The Universe.

I am an animist, of a sort, in that every single thing that exists, exists as a unique expression of The Universe expressing itself through creativity and as such is imbued with a transitory, shifting life cycle state of being. Things are expressions of their Platonic ideal. Through this creative expression, spaces can have a genius loci, less in the literal sense of the word, but in that sense of character of a space.

Where am I going here.  I guess I'm just finding a pausing point to catch my breath, find my compass, reground to what I find literally awesome about The Universe, and what I find "merely" helpful in identifying and understanding situational anthropomorphic relationships and frameworks for best practices attributes and jumpstarting creative troubleshooting by accessing pattern libraries.  And to pause and be amazed at the complexity and the beauty in the natural world where I can crudely approximate the beauty and creativity of The Universe by weaving a recycled clothing rug for the bottom of my stairs or a silk and wool table runner, while my cortex contemplating all this has "millions of flashing shuttles weave a dissolving pattern...; with a shifting harmony of entrancing subpatterns.”

So many threads to follow here and yet, a different weaving/work project calls.

June 8 Calendar

More About The Ocean and Various Bits Of Homework

Food wasn't settling with me earlier and I'm not quite ready (and/or way past ready) for bed.

I'm having all the feels about the ocean and all the thoughts swirling around in my head.  The ocean, the edge of the world.  We drove through Olympia to get there.  The land south, but mostly west, of Olympia is so beautiful.  I remember my first week at Evergreen, first week away from my parents.  I didn't really know my roommates, maybe it was the first weekend?  Maybe it was the weekend before classes started?  I was feeling really overwhelmed and someone had mentioned that the ocean was only about an hour away.

I've always turned to driving when I need to get some space to think.  I used to intentionally drive around trying to get myself "lost", then come around to something that looked familiar and head home.  I don't get that sort if luxury with time any more.  I followed all the signs out to Ocean Shores.  When I got there, that first week of college, I saw horses, and thought that'd be fun, so I went for a ride on the beach.  The horse dragged it's feet going away from the temporary stall, as horses are wont to do.  It was a half hour ride.  It was just me, the horse, and the guy on his horse guiding.  We did a little trotting, a little cantering.  When we turned back, the horse was like, hell yeah, heading home and set off fast down the beach.  I didn't even care. I may have lost a stirrup at one point, but I think I got it back.

After that, we discovered Moclips up the beach a ways, the following year.  There were midnight trips to the beach just because we could, and it's amazing to be standing on the beach late at night.  I can't remember the last time I wore shoes on the ocean beaches.  Possibly only that first trip.  Even on trips in the middle of winter, no shoes.  The water is so cold that the feet numb up pretty quick, and then it doesn't matter.  I couldn't do that on the Salish Sea beaches, most of them -- barnacles, rocks, human detritus... I suppose eventually I might meet a piece of razor clam shell or broken glass out on the Pacific, or perhaps we'll get to a part of the beach that isn't sandy, and then I'll wear shoes... I guess.

Wading out into the water, salt water... Poseidon starts out at my ankles, splashes up my calves, edging ever up my legs.  He's cheeky, that one.  But only ever bodies of salt water that connect to the ocean.  I don't think I've ever met up with him in ponds and lakes.  Perhaps I've just never met a big enough lake...

Poseidon turned up for my warding and safety Shield exercise.  As did Athena.  There were, of course, some of the other usual suspects, but... I guess those two surprised me, and sort of didn't on retrospection.  Maybe it was in class, someone noted, 'pay attention to who shows up, those may be good candidates for building out other area of that relationship.'  Indeed... Athena has immediate resonance for many reasons, and circled through in multiple ways over time.  Poseidon, he's been a fairly playful tease, but... Dunno.  Especially given the relationship between him and Athena and it would seem women generally -- like a number of the other Olympians, not especially respectful of us, but perhaps there is something that requires further exploration nonetheless. We shall see.

Have always sort of thought of practices for these two having been sort of more official state type business than solitary, more personal practices.  Have not looked up Poseidon yet, but Athena (so far) seems largely spoken of in terms of the past.  Just means I have not looked far enough yet.

So I have started the shield.  I'm weaving it together night over night.  I am already glad of it, I have been too open to the world and it has been draining.

So many more thoughts swirling in my head.  So tired.  And as M1 says, "tomorrow morning -- it's A  Thing."  And a thing coming quickly at that.  And another full crazy week, with so much to do. Will try to take note here of what more comes of these thoughts.  But for now, I go feed stinky old lady cat and do my day end stuff.  And maybe I'll check my calendar and see if I could get away with sleeping in just a bit in the morning...

Ocean

After the swim meet, we drove out to the ocean.  Hello, my old friend!

May 31 Calendar

May 25 Calendar

Words That Follow Me

Yeshe Rabbit asked on Facebook:

My dad Dick Matthews has a felt scroll that always hung in his closet that says, "The glory of God is man fully alive." My mom Linda Matthews has a plaque on her dresser that says, "Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them better." Personally, I have two blocks of wood that have mottoes painted on them, "Kindness matters" and "Be extraordinary." These little phrases we choose to have in our spaces are interesting to me. What mottoes do you maybe have hung up somewhere for observation in your own daily life? What are the words that follow you around from room to room?

On Facebook I answered:

Since YesheRabbit asked, I have too many to list here, but maybe my favorite is: 

Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it's personal. And the world won't end. And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don't miss them and new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, "If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution." And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaknig your truth, and that is not speaking. -- Audre Lorde 

But this isn't Facebook, and I can ramble on as I please without length limitation so here are at least the ones that live in my work office with me (which includes the above).

"I always try to come from a place of love.  But sometimes you just gotta break it down for a motherfucker." -- RuPaul.

"Incremental Goodness: what small step can we take today to make things better?" A.C. (an awesome woman I work with).

"Content Strategy: a shared set of goals, guiding principles, and success metrics that guide the creation, delivery, and governance of content across an organization."  I don't have it attributed on my whiteboard, but I believe it's Christina Wotke.  You can replace "content" with anything else and it still holds true.

"Breathe. (pri 1) [gratitude, compassion]."  That's a reminder to myself when things are getting stressful...
"Drink water too."  What can I say, sometimes when things get crazy I forget some of the basics...

"Real, radical change happens when someone in a position of authority turns to a blowhard and says, 'You are wrong. Stop talking.'"  Bee Lavender.  I have a whole post linking to the article this is from.  It is Required Reading.

"Stop not being awesome."  From the Discardia blog.

"ISO: 21st Century -- Information wants out of three ring binders.  ^And microfilm!"  I can't remember where I got the first part, the second part was something I added.  Though, given the rapid shifting still in digital content formats, they may become unreadable faster than microfilm, and I acknowledge it was sort of tongue in cheek as my inner archivist whimpers sadly off in a corner.

"No one can go back and make a brand new start but anyone can start now and make a brand new end."  Can't remember where I saw this one or who it came from.

"Assume the best!"  One of our directors used to say this, things are better when the group culture assumes that everyone is trying their best to do the right thing.

"Ownership is not making the decisions.  Ownership is being responsible for the results."  I think this is another Christina Wotke thing.

"You don't have to attend every fight you're invited to."  Dorothy Parker.

"Before a revolution, a revolutionist leads a daring and romantic life.  After a successful revolution, she must erect a distribution system for olives." -- Sparrow.  Sort of the same idea of  'before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water - after enlightenment: chop wood, carry water' but I think this captures the anticipation of big achievement, and the sense of pragmatic, practical efforts, *work!* that must still take place afterwards better.

Aaand, now that I mention it, 'Before/after enlightenment: chop wood, carry water' is also represented.

Lots more words in here.  "Keep calm, carry on." (I put googly eyes in the crown, because reasons).

"Every day is a good day in library automation." -- Richard Jost

"Do not get distracted by teh dum.  FOCUS."  Work politics gave rise to this one. I was having a very bad day and there was so much to do.  Doing the things that need to get done gets everyone further than getting caught up in the drama and politics...

All sorts of meme stuff that is amusing ("When life give me lemons, I squeeze them over life's eyes" & "What which does not kill us will regret not finishing the job," etc.).

I also have our company mission and values which are too long for me to go into here, but it's important for those things to be visible to my teams and to me as those are our organization's guiding principles & they're good solid ones.

So many words.  I think the last one that I'm going to type out (because I am a word collector and this is getting long!) is something I got from a friend about assessing what work to take on, because I think these things are important to consider.  All four of these will ideally be complementary.  :

• How do I like to work (within an organization, and does this project/job/etc meet these qualifications)?
• What is success (for the project, for the client, for the organization, for the team, for me)?
• What do we get out of it?
• What do I get out of it?

On Safety and Warding

I will likely need to come back to this.  CAYA has such a nice pragmatic approach to safety and warding.  I really appreciated the introduction to the concept of 'throwing shade' in terms of negative jabs at others, that kind of bitchy, gossipy, negging stuff that happens as being something that needs warding.  Makes total sense.  Lots I liked about Rabbit's presentation.

In class itself, we did a nice visualization to see/create our 'shields.'  I am sort of grappling with the idea that I don't have one cover-all, and what I need for work is very different for the ones I have outside work and how/do I integrate.  

I had two very strong images one of which blurred into the other, that of kaleidoscope with vivid colors and fractaling/fracturing of images (from my perspective looking out through it, not sure what that looks like trying to see in from it, but need to consider that and probably do some significant work there given my various roles), that eased into dappled sunlight through green leaves with blue sky...   

So many complex thoughts that I am not sure I'm at the point of articulating yet though I think ties pretty clearly into the faceting of self and social constructs merging into location/space-related stuff.  I can access kaleidoscope easily, here at work, but the location-based is significantly more industrial than anything so natural as dappled sunlight through leaves!  Sort of makes sense, in my head...  There will, I'm sure, be more thoughts as I continue to process the things I've been introduced to think through.

May 18 Calendar

May Mother of the New Time

I dance at the edge of the world

Like my Ancestresses before me.

I am a sacred vessel.

My blood is indomitable.

Cradling the Now at my breast.

Nurturing the future unfolding.

There is nothing to fear.

I am a Mother of the New Time.

Mothers of the New Time

April Homework

In your journey in finding a coven or a Pagan organization to join what are some of the things you personally are looking for in a group. What are the things you watch out for. Please write a summary on each.

• I'm looking for a group of generally like (but open) minded folks who are diverse, yet traveling a similar-ish non-mainstream spiritual path.  I think I'd be merrily on my solitary way, except for Jaina speaking so highly of the inclusiveness of this group, and thinking it would be nice to travel this path with some like-minded folks for a while.  I'm also looking for a group that allows me a significant amount of autonomy in my practices as [working, parent] put my "me" time to where I can fit it in between that whole working, homework, school events, extracurricular activities, etc stuff.  I also really like online communities -- the whole sense of Indra's net connecting bells or jewels that ring/shine all over an extended geographic community.
• What I watch out for -- "True Believers"- anyone whose way is The Way.  Like one of Indra's jewels, I believe we all facet/reflect/refract the Universe's experience in a unique way.  What works for one sometimes works for others, but it can't be an assumed "universal" experience because we're all coming to each experience with our own histories, cultures, interests, and connections to the Universe. I watch for other intolerances as well.  As I get older, my yellow flags of caution have played out often enough to be red flags that I'm taking any flagging of slow down/caution as srsly caution, and needs substantial justification rather than 'that's interesting, I'll have to keep an eye on it..."

Fun Question! Yet a serious one. If you would form your own/new coven today. What will be the focus of the coven and why?

•  I think if I were to form my own/new coven, it might try to look very similar to what CAYA looks like in terms of inclusive diversity of paths, tied to my answers to Chapter 4 questions.  It's possible that coordinating disparate geographic locations for ritual might play into that somehow as well...

I would like you to take time and think about your ideal coven meeting place. Will it be in a forest? Or at a friends house? Or every place just seems right. Please share your thoughts of your ideal meeting stop.

• My favorite gatherings have been fairly spontaneous outdoors events.  There is something very comfortable and connecting about being outside.  I find inside not to be quite as connected, perhaps a stronger influence of "civilized" that makes it more difficult for me in a social, "civil" setting to access that part of me which is pretty gleefully feral.  That said, I'm pretty comfortable online as well.

Calendar May 11

The Unexpected

That... was not quite what I anticipated my afternoon to be. And after thinking I was going to keep a minimal altar... I suddenly have three. Each one has less than I used to have, but as a whole... it sort of all spreads out.  Which.  Was unexpected.  It's alright. I'll see how it goes and make adjustments as they seem necessary and relevant.

So that happened. And it's pretty.  And it's good.

More On Ethics

"Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.

Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you."

http://news.distractify.com/people/mike-rowe-crushes-a-mans-hopes-for-finding-a-dream-job-and-i-agree-with-him-100/?v=1

-- Mike Rowe

Calendar May 4

On Stuff

I am trying to put thought into what I put out -- I no longer need to put All The Things On Display To Tell The World Who I Am.  I'm trying to find that balance of having key things out and having the rest have an appropriate place so that I can access with ease when I have need for them.  I've also reached that point where, I can't quite let go of something (some of those books) because they were so important to me and informed me at crucial stages... but they don't necessarily inform me now.  Sometimes I want to find specific things in them, but I've grown past their use as a tool I need to have immediately on hand.

It's a very conscious process of trying to figure out what gets put out as something that I want to reflect Me - Now, vs Me and 4+ decades of baggage that maybe doesn't represent Me - Now, much less Me - Going Forward.  

Distractions

New computer arrived today. Named it Theogony. Because reasons.

This is Required Reading

Knowledge

‘Real radical change happens when someone in a position of authority turns to a blowhard and says: “You are wrong. Stop talking.”’ 

This. Full. Stop.

Calendar April 30

Compass

When I took down the altar I'd had, pretty much in the same state since college in preparation for putting the house on the market, the only thing I kept out was my compass. I think I kept out my pocket sundial as well, but that would be a different story…

So my compass. I always had it on my altar to align it to the directions, elements being associated with directions, yada, etc. Some sort of stone, etc in the North, my tiny (now broken) glass wand in the East, my double edge blade (scissors for various reasons, perhaps to be another story, not sure yet), and a cup to the West, sometimes with water, sometimes not. Candle in the middle, various other bits and pieces of accumulated symbols as well. Pretty solid representation of an altar.

When it all came down, I left the compass and sundial out as a non-obtrusive reminder of the directions and all the associated elements. A representing shadow altar of sorts.

My old altar was a grounding point for me for many years. I felt very ungrounded without it for a while, typically it was only dismantled for moves. As the time wore on and the old house didn't sell (3.25 years, ugh!), I refound my ground, and realized that I had been retaining the trappings of an ideal that didn't reflect my current practices (which were by that point virtually nil) much at all any more.

In part, I am coming back home and revisiting, re-grounding. But regardless, the compass has always been out, even when the sundial finally got packed away. North is alway to the north, more or less, magnetically speaking, the rest follows from there, with all the associated implications, physics or associative. Like Jack Sparrow, my compass lets me know which direction is north so that I can gain-regain my bearings.

Yes, I've been out wandering and sort of lost, and maybe now I'm starting to find my new-old skin again. My old-new skin?  Various things have been building up, not even so much around the edges, but spilling forth, riotously spring time.  I'm missing my silver candle holder, the broken wand, the tiny cast iron cauldron... I don't know that I want to set that all up again, but I want the pieces to configure on an as needed, just in time basis.  Though perhaps in the end, one cannot get as far with tools that got one here, and now I need different tools.  Missing my silver candle holder and tiny cauldron tonight, while appreciating the minimalism and depth of meaning that the compass and sundial came to represent.

~~~
Thank you, Universe and Multiverse, for helping me find the rest of my original altar tonight!  I have missed these things so very very very much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
~~~

The Universe Speaks to Each of Us

Somewhere once I read something about spirituality, particularly animistic practices, being location-based.  This old tree is made of the essence of something alive, that pile of stones is made of the bones and atoms of the Universe, the shower curtain, if you care to think of it in this way, is made of star dust. The energy, created by atoms swirling around each other, is different in the desert, in the forest, at the top of a mountain, down by the edge of the ocean, inside vs. outside.  The ‘characters’ one finds in each place may share some similarities, may be ‘the same’, may not be.

I was sort of worried that recently I’ve been anthropomorphizing Hekate (crossroads, liminal space, thresholds) and Tara (deep compassion) too much lately, given my stated non-belief in “deity”, but the naming itself is part of what gives boundaries & defines thresholds (yes, even around you, Hekate) and helps us understand our own traverse through space/location (physical, psyche, or otherwise) and experience.  One of the things we discussed during my undergraduate years was what is “Truth” — facts can be strung together to create untruths, and a piece of wholly fabricated, fantastical fiction can contain truths more elegantly expressed than anything “real”.  This is as true for spirituality as it is for more mundane matters.  The Universe speaks to each of us in our own way, and one of the things that I really like about my favorite peoples’ stated and practiced position is that they/we [hold space for] and [practice radical diversity from] and [acceptance of] one another (within defined ethical boundaries).

We all have our own personal practices and beliefs, that we all bring something unique to the table to share that the rest of us can learn from, enjoy vicariously if we can't/don't access The Universe, God/dess/es, Kami, Devas, Loas (and respectfully All The Rest) in the same ways our fellow travelers can/do is a powerful reminder that we are strengthened through our diversity. In building out strong groups of people, one looks to balance one's weakness (not quite the word I'm looking for) with others' complementary strengths – why should spiritual practice be any different?

On Ethics

I will need to revisit and add more over time.  Summarized: one’s ethics must be understood, not just what but why, as well as not solidifying into a conceptualization that is not sufficiently flexible in practice to allow for the truly ethical thing to happen or to evolve into a deeper or different understanding.