The Ancestors

Ancestor stuff is complicated, especially when one starts taking into account shadow sides, and recognizing them as whole, complex people.

On Death Rituals

We tend not to be an overly sentimental family.  We've waited months to bury cremated relatives, they aren't going anywhere, and we've had other things to attend to. Maybe sentimental isn't the right word.  There is a time and a place for all things, and while Death itself may be inconveniently timed, ritual around it unfolds as it needs to.

In the cases where we've waited, technology has made it possible for us to take care of the life stuff that continues until such time as we could make and hold appropriate space to recognize the passing.  It is more respectful, in some ways, than a rush to get the shell in the ground that sometimes happens.

Sometimes the ritual emphasizes the event of a life lived with a peaceful closure, often this is the case with those who have lived a full, long life.  Often for those who are cut short, while consciously attempting to emphasize the event of the life lived and peaceful closure, the unconscious impact is that of deepening the shock of life lost too soon. There is no way around this, and it can be handled better or worse, the processes will unfold as they do.

As part of this Graveyard Moon, M2 & I went and wandered about a cemetery. In order to get there, I drove past the one where my paternal grandparents are buried.  It was a moment of conflict for me, why?  My initial, impulse thought was, "They are not there."  Wait -- what?  What I gain from going and walking among the stones and the dead is more to re-ground, re-center.  Wandering out there, I can feel the hinkiness of the day-to-day miasma and cluttery energy drain out my heels.  The perspective that we are on this unlikely tiny blue planet for a blip in time and when it's done, only memories are carried by those you impact.

Ancestors

So we carry the memories of those who have impacted us forward. That which is remembered, lives.  I think it will take me some time to figure out how The Ancestors fit into my practice.  They are not where I turn for advice, or divination, or posthumous blessings, and yet it seems appropriate to remember the gifts they provided, through traits, experiences, etc, with gratitude and appreciation, while recognizing and acknowledging their potential shadow sides as well.

'... we therefore commit the body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust...'